The Goblin and the Spider
by spidermanwife
Summary: Continuation of my '"Diary of the daughter of Spider-man" fan fiction series. May is forced to choose between family or being Spider-Girl. Meanwhile, a cult of Goblin worshippers appears, forcing May to get closer to Normie Osborn and his inner demons. (Where did all my fellow Spider-Girl lovers go?)


I refuse to not believe in free will; that our destiny is planned out before we even come into existence and no matter what we do to change the outcome-the end result will still be the same. Maybe I should be the last person to vouch for free will - my family history has a habit of not staying history - but those are just the cards I was dealt, not how I plan to play the game. My father didn't choose to be bitten by one of Oscorps genetically altered spider. Before that, he was just your typical teenager; just focused on surviving high school. He was a wallflower, preferring to be the one behind the camera rather than in front. Like me, he was witness to what others didn't see. He could have used the powers that made him Spider-Man for evil; could have let it twist his mind and pervert his soul like all the villains he put away. Every time he put on that mask, he knew there was a chance he wouldn't be coming back, but he always chose the lives of complete strangers over his own. He was given a great power and felt it was his responsibility to help others; to do good.

Normie insisted that we were both cursed at birth to carry on our fathers' legacies. He believed that this was our core purpose and that all resistance would only be futile. The Goblin and the Spider were bound to each other like a moth to the flame; tied unwillingly by blood and tears that were spilled long before either of us were born. If he was right, then what would be the point of living without free will? If he was right, then that meant I was supposed to hate him; that I was supposed to look into his eyes and see nothing but a monster. He would become just like his father and grandfather; a ruthless murderer, a Goblin. And just like our fathers, the feud would only end when one or both of us were dead. That was the biggest flaw in his theory; thinking that he knew everything, especially when it came to me. How could he predict my actions when I myself-who should be the first to know-couldn't even begin to? Life may have put me on a specific trail but I can still choose to follow another one.

I stood before the sliding glass door on the balcony and tapped. His head sprang up from the couch; he stood, already pointing his gun in my direction. When he saw it was me, he lowered the gun. He unlocked the sliding door; automatically looking ahead to make sure no one was following me. "_What's going on?"_ He asks, stepping aside to let me in.

Normies' eyes burned with intensity. It was like looking directly into a fire pit; your eyes burned just by staring at it too long but you just couldn't look away. Among the fire there was also this palpable sadness. He had this inescapable fear that suppressed all emotion. It was like time has slowed and sped up at the same time. Outside the elaborate apartment it was beginning to snow, reminding me of a snow globe I had at home. Inside, it had a boy and girl standing face to face on a frozen lake. Unlike most snow globes, they weren't holding hands or kissing or even smiling. Their little painted faces didn't really give much of a clue to what was going on between them or what was going to happen next; it was left purely to your imagination.

"_I've been thinking_, I say, pacing around his living room because I'm too flustered to sit down._About everything you've said, and I've come to the conclusion that you're full of it. You had the chance to kill me but you couldn't do it. You're not a monster, Normie. You'll never be one."_

"_May, what are-"_

"_I'm tired of people telling me how I should feel!_ _I make my own decisions; maybe they're wrong, but they're mine to make."_ My heart beats rapidly as I begin to close the distance between us. For a moment, my breath catches in my throat."_It's time for me to make a choice." I _finally mange to say before pulling off my mask.

Before he could say another word, I press my lips to his.

_**Three months before...**_

I've already been up for a while when my alarm clock finally sounds. With a sense of purpose I quickly change into a pair of sweats and slide on my running shoes. As soon as I open my bedroom window I'm greeted by a chilly early morning breeze. Everyone else is probably dragging themselves out of bed; grudgingly greeting the beginning of another day. Their movements are slow-robotic-as they shuffle to the bathroom mirror. Their bodies are heavy with sleep and their vision is blurry. Yet they still manage to find a purpose, a reason to get up in the morning, even if that said purpose is a lie.

I jump from the second story window and as soon as my feet hit the ground, I'm running. Houses fly by me in a blur; there's no one to see me so I don't have to hide my speed. Like clockwork I wake up every morning before sunrise and go for a long run. It's my own form of therapy after another restless night and listless day. The nightmares don't stop and I can't go through a day without being reminded of my failures.

_Where is Spider-Girl?_ , New Yorkers keep asking. Some people are convinced that she had never existed, that it was just some Spider-man impersonator looking for attention. Others insist that she was a ghost; a guardian angel that had come down from heaven to judge people. Some people went even as far as to say that the original Spider-Man had come back but was scared back into hiding. The stories ranged in genre. All anyone could agree on was that Spider-Girl or Spider-Man or whoever, had abandoned them. Being Spider-Girl had given me a sense of direction. It had filled a part of me that I didn't even know needed filling in the first place. Now all that was gone.

No one understood how deep my fathers' sense of responsibility ran more than my mother. She could have walked away. She could have chosen a stable life; a life that didn't involve her up every night-wondering if her husband was going to come home or be found dead in a Spider-man costume. She had known all about the severe danger his presence put her in, but still, she stayed. She had sworn for better or worse. In the end, she survived the worse. I can't blame her for not wanting me to follow in my fathers footsteps. I can't hate her for trying to protect me. Who could blame her after all that has happened? One night, while Ben was still in recovery, she put an end to my web-slinging days.

"_Ben needs his sister now more than ever._" She said. "_I need to know that I can rely on you, that you'll put your family before everything else."_

"_I've always done that_." I insisted.

"_I'm asking you to still honor our previous agreement. Ben's safe now. You stopped Carnage from hurting anyone else. It's over."_

"_Carnage is still out there!" _I protest._ "He can show up anytime- No one's safe!"_

I must have been raising my voice because she put up a hand to silence me. With all the stress over what happened to Ben and me getting my powers, she seemed so tired all the time. I saw the face of a jaded woman; a woman put through so much and had finally reached her limit.

"_You've done enough"_, she said, emphasising the word "**enough"**. "_Peter did more than enough. What is it with you two? Why do you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders? Your dad wouldn't have wanted this life for you!"_

"_He was around my age when he became Spider-Man_." I said. "_He would have understood. He always said that with-"_

"_I know what he said!"_ She snapped. We were both caught off by her tone. "_I know what he said"_, she repeats in a calmer voice. "_As much as your powers can be a gift, they can also be a curse. He tried to quit being Spider-Man so many times but he couldn't."_

"_Dad kept quitting?"_ I was in total disbelief.

"_He tried_." She let out a huge sigh. "_You want to help people. That's wonderful, May. But right now you're still a child. I can't stop you forever but I can have you wait until you're eighteen. Until then I need you to be May; May is more than enough. I've done my share, do you understand? I'm tired. God, I'm tired." _She was holding back tears; speaking in slow, controlled breaths.

What was I supposed to do? Ben almost died because I had stepped back into my father's past when she had told me not to. I wanted to help others but not at the expense of hurting those I loved. I stuffed my costume in the large trunk that contained my fathers' old Spider-Man costume and left it to collect dust in the attic. I was putting away the part of myself I had been searching for all along. Now what was left of me?

When I get home I take a shower and prepare for the day. Since I no longer had long hair to hide behind, I was left with no choice but to actually fix myself up in the morning. A little dab of blush on my pale cheeks, a bit of mascara, some lip gloss and a bright smile- I even make the effort to wear a dress every now and then! I couldn't completely go back to who I use to because that May no longer existed. I wasn't completely new either; not reborn or put together. I guess the best way to explain it is that I'm somewhere in between.

"-Oscorp Industries in trouble again? Norman Osborn the second, grandson to the late Norman Osborn-"

As I walk downstairs, the newscasters go in depth into the scandalized history of Oscorp and its reputation for conducting illegal experimentation. Hardly a day goes by where I don't hear either another scandal involving Oscorp or about the social outings of young Norman Osborn the second- also known as one of New York's most allegeable bachelors. Normie, or "Norman", has once again become a stranger despite the great step we took in the direction of Osborn and Parker peace. I guess in the end he shared my mother's perspective: the only way the Parkers and Osborn's can coexist in the same city is if both families successfully avoid any interaction. The only time I ever see him now is on TV.

On the screen are two side by side photos of Normie. In one he is photographed in a suit, his hair slicked back, seemingly in control. The second photograph depicts a loss of control: his mouth frozen in mid shout, eyes wild, and his hand caught in motion. The title reads: **Osborn Unfit to run Oscorp.**

"_May! You're spacing out again!"_ Courtney exclaims, waking me up from my trance. The chemistry teacher is staring at me impatiently from his desk. Behind him on the board, are the instructions for the lab.

"_Sorry! Um, so what were you saying?"_ I ask, flipping through my notebook to find the section of notes that applied to this lab.

"_You look stressed."_ Jimmy Yuma says tossing me some lab goggles. Both of them are staring at me expectantly, waiting for some elaborate explanation. I've never been very good at lying or hiding my feelings- mom says I get that from my father.

Jimmy and Courtney are two of my best friends; my fellow nerds. The three of us met our freshmen year when the class was short a person and I was left alone; awkwardly looking around the room for a group of two that were willing to take me in. They happily let me join their group and we became best friends. We've managed to be in the same Advanced Placement classes ever since and never missed an opportunity to partner up.

"_Stop looking at me like I'm some kind of ticking time bomb!"_ I laugh. "_I'm fine, just tired." _ Courtney isn't satisfied with my answer. She's pouting; her big bottom lip exaggeratingly protruding, her brown eyes full of concern. She scoots her stool closer to me.

"_Is everything okay at home?"_ She asks, dropping her voice to a whisper. "_Is he….is he using again?" _

"_Benjamin isn't on drugs, Courtney."_

Ever since Bens' accident, everyone assumed that drugs were the cause. For them, it made sense, especially explaining the crazy mood swings he had undergone and not to mention the abrupt change of character. Ben couldn't exactly defend himself. The affects Carnage had had on his body and mind were similar to what someone on hallucinogen drugs may experience. But there were really no words to describe the hell he went through the few months he was bonded with the symbiotic creature. His reputation was tarnished, but he was slowly trying to rebuild it.

Around that time, my friends also noticed a major change in me. Suddenly I no longer had any time for them and I was always using some kind of family excuse to get out of engagements. Since I couldn't come out and say: _"Guess what guys! My father was Spider-man and I've inherited his spider powers! Sorry I can't hang with you, but I gotta catch a murderer. See ya!" _my friends had assumed that my brother having a drug problem was the most reasonable cause of my aloof behavior. And since I was no longer able to disappear and be Spider-Girl and had more time for friends again- they just figured it was because Ben was undergoing rehabilitation.

"_Well I'm glad to hear that",_ she complies, but clearly not convinced.

"_Are you girls really planning to stick me with all this work?"_ Jimmy cuts in.

"_Of course not, Jimmy. We can't have you taking all the credit. _I assure him.

"_Sorry guys, but I need to borrow May for a bit!_" Davida says, cutting off Jimmy mid sentence. Before I can register what's happening she is already pulling away. I shoot Courtney and Jimmy an apologetic look; I always find myself having to apologize for Davida.

"_That was rude, Davida."_

"_Those geeks see you more than I do! I don't think one minute without you will kill them."_

Davida is that one friend everyone has: self centered, oblivious, bossy; yet she's also loyal, warm hearted, fun, and overall completely lovable-once you get to know her. So despite the fact she's a bit critical-especially when it comes to my fashion sense- she is the closes thing I have to a sister

"_Anyway, we have more important things to discuss",_ she declares. She's leading me through the hallway, taking huge determined steps in her sparkly heels, black curls bouncing around her face like a lion's mane. Then we finally reached a spot where there aren't many people in ear shot.  
_"Brad Jameson likes me!"_ She blurts.

"_Brad Jameson?"_ I ask.  
_"Yes! Heather told me!"_  
_"Oh, cool."  
"Why aren't you jumping up and down?"_ She says, her voice spiking a pitch higher  
_"He's cute. "  
"Cute?!"  
"Um, very cute?"  
"May parker!"  
"What do you want me to say?_ "  
Brad Jameson was in the popular crowd; a jock, handsome, winning smile, and a shinning personality. We had Spanish together and would wave to each other in the hall way but that was as far as our relationship went.  
_"Be excited for me! Look alive, just do something!"  
"But I am excited for you!"  
_Davida grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me. "_You're just so lifeless lately! You use to laugh and flirt but now it's like you're stuck in neutral."  
_I begin to protest but the bell rings and everyone begins to scramble to their next period. David's gives me a quick wave before making her way to class through the thinning crowd of students.  
_**Lifeless? Is that what I've become?**_

_Dear readers,_

_I must clarify something. I did __**not**__ kill Peter Parker off because I'm- a- hater –who- doesn't –think- that –Spidey- deserves- a happy ending etc. On the contrary, I dislike Superior Spider-man because Peter is stuck in limbo while Ock disgustingly masquerades as him. Where is the justice in that, the credit he deserves? I don't mind the clone saga because at least Peter got some time to live a normal life with the woman he loves and that was good enough for me. However, I did decide to kill Peter off for my Spider-Girl fic because I wanted her to strive, to long, to hurt for something she was robbed of. Three things I didn't approve of in the comics (even though I love them) was that May seemed to have it a bit too easy at times; she came from a nice home and was very well put together and right away got the concept of responsibility without doing any soul searching. I also didn't like how Peter as a dad was written, which lacked the warmth Uncle Ben would have passed on to him. With Peter being killed as spider-man, the stakes are higher and provides more character development for Mary Jane. Hey! At least I didn't kill him off without giving him some happy years with his family and leave him with no one but a stranger to carry on his legacy! _


End file.
